Do Fears Have Layers?

Fear is a curious beast. If you slay one fear, another one takes its place. For example, last week I was worried I wouldn’t have anything to say because I was blogging for 3 days a week. This week I am fighting myself about specifying on a writing topic for my blog and sticking to a schedule.

This made me think of a scene from the movie Shrek.

Shrek and Donkey are walking through a field of sunflowers on their way to Lord Farquaad. Donkey asks Shrek why he doesn’t just storm his fortress.

Shrek: For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example… okay, um… ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes… No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave ‘em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs…
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
[walks off]
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.

Although the scene was describing the difficulties of being generalized into a certain category based on what you look like, the onion analogy can be used to describe fear as well. Each layer of the onion represents a fear. These layers of fear are merely a diversion attempt from what’s really bothering us. If we peel away these layers, eventually we will find the real reason what we are afraid of.

The true fear.

My true fear could be as simple as being afraid to write, or committing to a project. For you it could be something completely different.

What do you think fear really is? Is fear a many layered beast hiding a secret fear? Or is fear just a simple dragon that needs to be killed? Tell me, I’d love to know!

(And just to show how much I love you guys, here’s the clip from the movie I was using as an example. )

Would You Like To Be My Accountability Partner?

Is it just me, or does that headline sound like an advertisement for an online dating site? Hi, my name is Kristy! I love to read, play Star Wars: The Old Republic, and imagine terrible things happening to the characters in my stories.

Back to the point of my post. I’d dearly love to kick my bad habit of procrastination, which might hinder my RoW80 goals even with the check in posts.

I’m looking for an accountability partner/mentor. Preferably someone who has done row80 before and succeeded in meeting their goals, and wouldn’t mind giving me a pep talk/kick in the pants if I haven’t met mine.

I’d be more than willing to return the favor!

This week I have met one of my row80 goals, and gone beyond it! I’ve commented on more than 10 blogs and promoted them. I didn’t want to when I first started, but as I kept doing more I realized I was having fun! It was hard to stop.

I haven’t written for my WIP at all this week. I have written down on an index card what I want to write in short form. I don’t like starting out with just typing at a blank page because I find blank pages intimidating. Having some sort of a plan helps to break through that blank page.

I’d like to develop what I have a bit more. Generate some more conflict for it. I’ve got a few ideas, I just need to apply them and write.

Still need to do my 15 minutes of exercise and grammar practice, but the night is still young.

Tales of Words Arcane: The Puppet

Photo Credit: Ojimbo

The first time I stayed at my grandmother’s house was during the summer of when I was 7.

The puppet was in my room and its unfriendly features put me off from going near it. I hated going to sleep in the room that night knowing it was staring at me with its blank eyes. I told my grandmother the puppet scared me, and to move it, but she just smiled.

“That puppet looks unfriendly because it’s a protector. It’s job is to ward away danger, and it can’t do that by being friendly.”

I didn’t believe her until the second night I saw a shadow creep from my closet, and make its way towards the bedside table.

The shadow crept its way up the table heading towards me, which proved to be its undoing because it had to pass the puppet. The puppet scooped up the shadow with its hands and ate it before settling back into place with a sigh of content.

I decided to like that puppet after that night.

Damsels In Distress Getting You Down? Read Hush Money by Susan Bischoff

Do you know what the hardest thing to find in young adult books is? Strong female characters.

I’ve read so many young adult books featuring heroines who were rendered incapable of fighting for themselves because of the forces they oppose, or were content to observe their champion fight for them.

Susan Bischoff’s debut novel Hush Money is a wonderful exception to that.

They call their abilities Talents, and that’s what they call themselves as well. Talents are people born with supernatural powers, feared by the population at large. Possession of an “unregistered ability” has become illegal, and those who are discovered are forcibly removed to government-run research facilities. They do not return. And so the Talents try, as best they can, to keep their abilities secret-some more successfully than others. For some, keeping that secret begins to define who they are. That’s where Hush Money begins… Be normal, invisible. Don’t get close to anyone. Those are the rules to live by for seventeen-year-old Joss. She spent years as an outsider, hoping to hide what she is, until the new girl, Kat, decides she’s friend material. Kat doesn’t realize her mistake when she stands up for Joss against Marco, a guy who’s been giving Joss a hard time since freshman year. Joss is horrified when these heroics lead to the reveal of Kat’s Talent. Now she has an unasked-for best friend, who is the victim of an extortion plot by the school bully, who used to like Joss. And if that wasn’t all complicated enough, Dylan, Joss’s long-time crush, is finally starting to talk to her. But as Marco’s best friend, can Dylan be trusted at all? Can Joss keep her secret and still save her friend? And what’s more important, staying safe or doing what’s right? Hush Money is recommended for readers 13 and over due to strong language.

Joss is a flawed, snarky heroine who wears combat boots and is not afraid to get her hands dirty in a fight. The feminist in me cheered. Hush Money is a fantastic example of what a strong female heroine should be like.

Another thing I love about Bichoff is she does not hold her punches in a fight scene.

I’ve already bought the sequel Heroes Til Curfew, and it promises to be just as good as the first.

What books are you reading right now? I’d love to know!

Tales of Words Arcane & RoW80 Check-in

The long weekend has dashed my hopes of sticking to my RoW80 goals, but I did finish off a book on grammar called Grammar Girl’s Punctuation 911. I promise I will do a much better job of sticking to my goals.

I have been busy making changes to my blog over the weekend. I switched to a different template because I didn’t like the other one. It was too business like for my tastes. I’ve also created a blogging schedule.

Starting this Monday I will be talking about things related to science fiction and fantasy. Wednesdays are RoW80 check-ins. I will discuss life, inspiration and (occasionally) martial arts on Friday when I have a topic. When I don’t have a topic, I will be doing a mash up of blog links. Sundays are also Row80 check-ins.

In addition to every RoW80 check-in I will be including a ten sentence short story written by me and based on a photograph. (All photographs will be given proper credit.) I’m calling them Tales of Words Arcane.

pencils

Photo credit: mcandea from morguefile.com

When I was young I used to think every box of crayons held an army ready to go to war against a new colouring book or a blank page. I would arrange my colourful soldiers in rows and stare at them in delight.

My mother would always ask why I didn’t arrange my army of coloured pencils according to the rainbow. “Wouldn’t they be prettier that way?”

“But that would be boring!” I would always protest. I much preferred my army of colourful chaos.

Their riot of colours challenged me to consider new ways to draw fire-breathing dragons, knights on horses, and giants. To put an order to my coloured pencils would be limiting my imagination, but I could never properly explain this to my mother.

She would always sigh, tell me they were just pencils, and arrange them into a pretty rainbow anyway.

Have you ever tried explaining to someone why you do things a certain way, and they just refused to listen? I’d love to know!

Make Your Friday Read Coming Home by April Plummer

Looking for something to read on a Friday night? I have a book for you! A writer friend of mine published her new book this week. I just had to advertise.

Congrats again, April!

Coming Home by April Plummer

For years, eighteen-year old Isabela Fuentes worked two jobs to support her promiscuous, alcoholic mother.

After the latest boyfriend rapes her at knife point, Isabela throws her few possessions into her car and drives until she reaches Lakeside, Montana, twenty-five hundred miles from New York City’s suffocating smog.

As her bodily scars fade, she takes solace in the nature around her and records it in her sketch pad. It isn’t until she begins sketching scenes from her rape that she learns to cope with what happened.

But leaving her mother behind to fend for herself might have been a mistake; and when two strangers appear on her doorstep claiming to be her dead grandparents, they threaten the fragile childhood memories. Before she can rebuild her life, Isabela must decide to either let her past go or unite it with the woman she’s become.

It’s selling for $3.99 on Amazon. I believe she mentioned the paperback will be out next week. I just bought it and am looking forward to reading it. You should buy it too! And don’t forget to check out her website!

When Fear Wants To Drive, Tell It To Take A Hike!

Since last Friday I have been feeling frustrated. It took me until Wednesday to be able to form what I was feeling into words. At first I thought I was just lonely. I haven’t seen any of my friends face to face for a while. We play an online MMORPG, and talk via MSN, but that’s not the same as a face to face conversation. I decided to ignore my feelings, thinking they’d just go away, but they grew and grew until they started to prevent me from writing or wanting to write.

I started doing whatever I could so I wouldn’t have to write. I worked on developing my blog. As you may or may not see, my blog now has a tidy sidebar, contact information and additional pages. I played my games. My Trooper in SW: The Old Republic is now level 24. These are all a result of me procrastinating from writing.

I didn’t realize what was going on until today, and this is where irony can sometimes be such a cruel mistress.

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been talking about creativity and the type of thinking you have to do to get yourself out of the problem. One of the things I mentioned was not to think at the problem. Guess what, guys? I was thinking at the problem.

All I could see was frustration. I wasn’t taking the time to break down the problem and figure out what was bothering me.

Cue the big duh moment. I should listen to my own advice sometimes. In fact, I should remember other blogger’s advice like Kristen Lamb. I’m sure I was reading a post where she was giving out similar advice some time ago.

Isn’t it funny how our brains work? We read and hear what people say, but sometimes never truly understand or acknowledge it until the same thing happens to us.

So while I was at work today I started thinking about where my frustration was coming from.

I realized it was my old enemy fear. That anxious, butterfly feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that’s your body’s way of saying listen to me! I’ve got something to say!

My fear was telling me I was afraid I was running out of things to say, which is another ironic thing since I’ve just started this blog. I’ve read all bloggers go through this at some point in their writing life and it’s a process I wish I could skip.

I also think this fear is just a natural resistance to having a medium where I can fully express myself.

I’m one of the quiet kids easily overlooked in a crowd. Mosh pits make me cringe. Large groups are also uncomfortable because everyone is busy interrupting each other in order to be heard. I sometimes think the Internet is just like that.

I got used to keeping my mouth shut.

It’s time to let go of that fear and take control. You over there. Yeah, you. The one that just interrupted me. Sit down and shut up. It’s my turn to talk.

What skeletons have you had to face in order to meet your goals? I’d love to hear from you!

Joining the Ranks of #Row80 – Better Late Than Never

I have decided to join the #RoW80 gang! I like the idea behind the community, as well as the accountability.

According to the RoW80 rules, if you missed the original sign up date, you post your goals at the next check in. I, however, am going to be a rebel and post them tonight because I’m too impatient to wait for Wednesday. Since Monday is so close to Sunday, let’s consider this my Sunday check-in.

On to the goals!

1. I will write 500 words each day. 500 words is a lot for me. I normally write 300 (when I feel like it). It will be interesting to see how much my word count will increase once I push myself.

2. I will write for half an hour each day, even if that half hour has to be broken up into 15 minute chunks.

3. I will improve my grammar and sentence structure by reading all of Mignon Fogharty’s Grammar Girl books, and practicing the examples given by The Write Practice.

4. I will write up next week’s blogs every Saturday afternoon.

5. I will post comments on 10 blogs every week and dedicate 10 minutes promoting, or spending some time on Twitter talking to other people, each day.

6. I will work out for 15 minutes each day by doing kicks, punches, and practicing my pattern and nunchucks.

7. In addition to Taeguk 7, I will review all of the other patterns I have learned every weekend.

8. I will commit to going to Toastmasters every Wednesday for the rest of the year.

9. I will pick up some books on screenwriting and start studying the craft, as well as analyze movies and TV shows.

10. I will spend at least 15 minutes every weekend studying how comics are written.

What are your writing goals? What are you doing to improve yourself this year? I’d love to hear from you!

Of Cat Herding And Dangerous Squirrels

Happy Friday! I’m behind on reading blogs, but don’t worry. I’m leaving you in the capable hands of these amusing videos. A few of them are Superbowl commercials. (I don’t watch the Superbowl, but even I will admit they have funny commercials.)

It ain’t easy being a cat herder. These cowboys would be the first to tell you that.

If you’re running with the squirrels, remember to show no fear!

…which might not help if you’re an M&M.

How Can Martial Arts Be Applied To Creative Thinking?

Martial Arts can be applied to creative thinking as well. It just requires a little stretching of the imagination.

In Tae Kwon Do we practise what we call patterns (or poomse).

A pattern is similar to shadow boxing. You are alone and fighting an invisible enemy. However, there is a difference. In a pattern you are fighting and defending yourself from many individuals and from multiple directions. The whole purpose of a pattern is to be able to perform these moves if you were ever caught in a situation where you had to use them.

When you first begin Tae Kwon Do, your pattern is simple, but as you climb up the belt ranks your patterns become more intricate and complex.

(This video features Taeguk 7. The second hardest Taeguk pattern to learn.)

Patterns are like the problems we deal with in real life. Some problems start out simple and can be easily solved, while other problems become a huge mess and require more creative solutions.

How do you manage complicated patterns when you reach a higher belt rank? By starting out small and keeping things simple.

How do you defend yourself from multiple individuals? By devising different plans of attack and defence.

This is exactly what you have to do in order to solve a problem that doesn’t involve fighting.

What do you have to do in order to solve a complicated problem? You break it down into simple steps.

How do you solve a complicated problem? You brainstorm to think up creative answers.

You can think of it as a formula. Your pattern is the problem. The defensive and offensive kicks and punches is the brainstorming you do in order to solve the problem.

Pattern (Problem) + Defensive and Offensive kicks and punches (Brainstorming) = Enemy Defeated! (Problem Solved)

Can any of your interests and hobbies be applied to creative thinking? I’d love to know!

Discipline and Trust: The Backbone of Martial Arts and Universal Principles

Discipline and trust are the backbone principles of martial arts.

As defined by the Merriam Webster’s dictionary, discipline is “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.” It teaches us how to persevere, think before you act, and finish what you are doing. In martial arts, discipline teaches us to obey our teacher, be respectful to each other, and to push ourselves beyond what we thought was possible.

There have been times during sparring lessons where I have fallen flat on my butt because it was me, or my partner, who lost self-control in whatever we were doing. That’s when discipline kicks in and tells you to get back on your feet and face your opponent, even if it’s the last thing you want to do.

Trust is equally important.

You need to trust your teacher to demonstrate self-control in a sparring lesson, or while showing you how to use a weapon, or walking you through the steps of a pattern. (A pattern is a series of offensive and defensive movements that are practised individually.)

You need to trust your classmates for the same reasons as trusting your instructor.

I found this video last year on YouTube. While I’m no expert on this particular style of martial arts, the time and effort these two men demonstrate disciplined themselves in their weapons training and hand to hand combat is considerable.

The trust is also evident if you study how well the fighting scene is choreographed.

These principles are drilled into us again and again in the classroom and can be applied to real life.

Discipline is what you need to excel in your goals, and how to persevere when your goals appear to be unattainable. You need to trust yourself in order to successfully reach those goals, and trust your family and friends for giving you the support you need.

Has discipline and trust helped you to succeed? Has it ever failed you? What are some tips and tricks you’ve learned to help maintain your discipline and trust in yourself?

I’d love to hear from you!